38 Things I’ve Learned: A Birthday Reflection from My Sanctuary

By Ashleigh McCurdy / @Life_DesignedByAshleigh 

My 38th birthday recently passed, and instead of celebrating loudly, I chose to celebrate intentionally.

This year, I checked into The State Hotel alone. Not because I didn’t have people to celebrate with, or because I was running from anything, but because I wanted space. Space to reflect, listen, and honor the woman I’ve become.

For a few quiet days, The State became my sanctuary. There is something powerful about stepping outside of your normal environment, even just a few miles away, and giving yourself permission to just be. No expectations. No performing. No hosting. No answering to anyone.

Just softness. Just comfort. Just peace.

From the moment I arrived, I felt cared for. The warmth of the team, the calm of the suite, the quiet luxury of having a space that felt intentional, intimate, and elevated without being overwhelming. 

The rooftop suite, with its natural light and thoughtful design, offered more than a place to stay; it offered perspective. Mornings felt unhurried, evenings felt reflective, and every detail invited stillness.

Luxury, I’ve learned, isn’t excess—It’s intention. It’s how a space makes you feel, and the ability to exhale, and the State gave me that.

I woke up slowly. I journaled and reflected with the city outside my window. I ordered what I wanted (and the food was AMAZING), and I moved at my own pace. I took a walk in the city, strolled through Pike Place Market, and visited other landmarks I haven't seen in years. I allowed myself to feel gratitude without urgency.

Turning 38 didn’t feel like getting older—it felt like arriving. Not at a destination, but at myself.

Here are 38 things I’ve learned in my thirties; lessons that met me long before this birthday, but fully landed in that quiet hotel room.

1. Peace is a flex — and I protect mine fiercely.

Peace is curated. It is intentional. It is worth investing in.

2. Everything doesn’t deserve a reaction.

Maturity is knowing when silence is power.

3. Rest is productive. Period.

In that hotel room, I realized rest is not a reward; it is a requirement.

4. Softness is strength when it’s intentional.

Choosing gentleness is power under control.

5. Your nervous system knows before your mind does.

Pay attention to what feels calm versus what feels chaotic.

6. Consistency beats motivation every time.

Small daily disciplines quietly shape your life.

7. Saying no is a form of self-respect.

And you don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting your time.

8. Being chosen starts with choosing yourself.

You teach people how to value you by how you value yourself.

9. Alignment feels calm, not chaotic.

The right things bring clarity, not confusion.

10. You don’t need to explain your boundaries.

The right people understand.

11. The right people don’t drain you.

Energy never lies.

12. Silence can be an answer; listen to it.

When something goes quiet, observe.

13. Money is a tool, not a source of worth.

Comfort and luxury are experiences, not identity.

14. Confidence grows when you keep your word to yourself.

Integrity begins internally.

15. Slowing down brings clarity faster than rushing ever did.

The stillness at The State reminded me of that.

16. Beauty is energy, not just aesthetics.

It’s how you feel in a space, and how you carry yourself in it.

17. You can love deeply without abandoning yourself.

Self-preservation and love can coexist.

18. Healing is not linear, and that’s okay.

Grace is necessary for growth.

19. Comparison robs joy quietly.

Presence restores it.

20. Being “low maintenance” is overrated; being intentional isn’t.

There is elegance in knowing what you require.

21. Discipline creates freedom.

Structure allows softness to exist safely.

22. Prayer, gratitude, and routine change everything.

My quiet mornings reminded me that grounding is spiritual first.

23. Your home should feel like a sanctuary.

And sometimes, your hotel room can too.

24. Quality over quantity applies to everything.

People. Experiences. Time.

25. Not everyone deserves access to your softness.

Access is earned, not assumed.

26. Loneliness and solitude are not the same.

Solitude is sacred when it’s chosen.

27. You don’t outgrow desires, you refine them.

You simply become clearer.

28. Your intuition sharpens when you stop ignoring it.

It becomes louder in stillness.

29. Love should feel safe, not confusing.

Security is attractive.

30. Elegance is how you move, not what you wear.

It’s composure. Discernment. Grace.

31. Growth sometimes looks like letting go.

Release creates space for refinement.

32. You can reinvent yourself more than once.

Evolution is maturity.

33. Timing matters more than talent.

What is for you will not rush you.

34. Being single can be sacred.

It is not absence, it is preparation.

35. You don’t need permission to want more.

Desire is direction.

36. Everything you’re seeking starts internally.

Peace. Confidence. Love.

37. Soft life requires structure, not avoidance.

Intentionality creates ease.

38. The woman you’re becoming deserves patience and grace.

Speak to her kindly. Protect her gently.

When I checked out of The State Hotel, I didn’t feel like I was leaving something behind.

I felt like I was carrying something with me: clarity, stillness, and a deeper commitment to the life I’m designing.

The State became my sanctuary for a few days, and a place where comfort met intention, and solitude felt sacred. And in that quiet, I was reminded that true sanctuary isn’t just a location, but a mindset, a standard, a way of moving through life.

Thirty-eight isn’t about age, it’s about alignment. And this year, I’m choosing to curate my life with the same care and intention I brought to my stay: peaceful, elevated, and deeply aligned.

I’m grateful for spaces that understand that luxury is intentional. Here’s to 38! Embraced in comfort, celebrated in solitude, and carried forward in confidence. 

With love always,

- Ashleigh